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My Boyfriend Doesn't Allow Me to Be Beautiful.
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ดูบทความที่เกี่ยวข้องเพิ่มเติมMy Boyfriend Doesn't Allow Me to Be Beautiful.
Jake was the new guy in college and my friends were telling me that he liked me. I didn’t know anything about him except that he was the class clown and truthfully, I didn’t even notice him. I had no interest in him at first as I’ve never really struggled to find attention whether or not I wanted it. I had a naturally curvy body and my chest was definitely… large. My lips were naturally plump and I had a button nose – yes the generic beauty you’d read about in papers. I mean, I was pretty. Let’s face it. and yes, I’m sure you all find me very obnoxious by now but this story isn’t about my beauty. It’s about him.
I had finished my classes for the day and had made my way off campus when I noticed a tall figure running up from behind me “hey! you forgot your textbook – I couldn’t let a pretty lady such as yourself go home without a study partner” hmf, cheesy already. Kinda cute though I thought. “Um thanks” I said and just as I turned around, I heard him say “what? no number? let me take you out and treat you to a meal, maybe while we study” he said confidently. I chuckled and knew he was full of it but he was so cute – he had this bad boy demeanor and I just really fell for it.
It didn’t take long, but after that day, we connected instantly and opened up to each other about our lives, our friends, family, and other random things throughout our days. We’d speak for hours and for days eventually being more than just friends, I remember the day he asked me to his girlfriend he said: “you’re mine now babe”. He’d always keep me on the edge of my feet, surprising me with gifts, making me feel sexy and special. I didn’t care that he was a little edgy, often nudging me with controlling comments and brushing them off as a joke – who cares right? he’s just got a lot of character I would say to convince myself.
Things only started to get worse once he felt me pulling away. He began to obsess about the way other guys would look at me, often starting fights with anyone who even glanced my way. One night out when we left the cinemas, he grabbed another guy by the throat and told him he’d beat him for glancing our way. Then, once we’d get home, he’d turn to me. He’d tell me how much of a low life I was, asking for this attention by “walkin’ around, showing off by big chest”. He would tell me if I didn’t start wearing more appropriate clothes that he’d find another girl to replace me.. one that was a ‘good girl’, the kind of girl you could take home to your parents. I don’t know why I thought it was my fault, but he had a way of making me feel guilty for almost anything.
We would take “breaks” where we didn’t speak with each other for weeks until I apologized. It was incredibly difficult because the more we’d fight, and the more he blamed me, the harder I’d try and make things right – it was the opposite of what anyone should do. I liked him so much that I accepted his verbal words, and him yelling at me. It made me apologize more and want to help him, fix his problems, and change who I was to fit the person he wanted. I no longer dressed the way I wanted to, I was too afraid to catch any wrong attention and pay the price for it later.
“Stop it people are looking our way!” I pleaded “I don’t care! you should have thought of that before you started taking off your clothes in front of everyone,” he shouted. He then grabbed my jacket and forcefully tried zipping it back up “stop!” I kept saying, but he wouldn’t listen. He grabbed my arm so tight I could no longer feel anything else but the pain, I panicked at the idea that it might even snap. I shrieked out loud as I could no longer hold the back pain and before we knew it, a crowd of people rushed over to separate us. I saw the look in people’s eyes, the pity they felt and the disgust they had with him.. and that’s how I knew that I needed to get the hell out of this relationship.
I cut all my ties with him and never spoke to him again after that day. It really took a lot for me to finally let him go and realize how much he tarnished my confidence. He broke me as a person and I had to fix myself again. Even though I am not as open as I was before, I am slowly finding my feet by surrounding myself with people that make me happy and more importantly, care about me the way I care about them. It’s easy to judge from the outside but when you are not in a relationship like I was, it surrounds and consumes you without even knowing it. Just know, it’s not your fault or your job to fix everything. You are growing every day and perfect the way you are.
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#Boyfriend #Doesn39t #Beautiful
My Boyfriend Doesn't Allow Me to Be Beautiful.